After a lot of reading and podcasts and listening to audiobooks from the likes of Tony Robbins and Dr Joe Dispenza, I have come to realise that it takes just as much effort to be miserable as it does to be happy.

 

I also realised that WE can choose which one we want to put that effort into.

 

Miserable people can't stand happy people, so they gravitate more towards other miserable people so they have other people to be miserable with (am I lying?) but misery also comes with secondary gains such as sympathy, pity and THE rescuers!

 

Happy people don't want miserable people to drag them down, so they skilfully avoid spending too much time with people who are miserable, so deciding to be happy after spending a lot of time being miserable, might not go down well with your miserable friends.. you might need to find some new ones.

 

I think I have found a way! to move from the misery camp over to the happy camp and it consists of a daily routine, commitments to give you a sense of achievement when they've been completed, things to look forward to and making time for self care and to be creative.

 

That sounds like A LOT, but when you start with 1 and just keep adding another 1 on, soon enough you gain a sense of worth and purpose and the momentum just keeps building.

 

I'm a solo mum of one under 5 year old.

 

What I mean by solo, is that it's JUST me and my daughter. It's FAR from easy, it's stressful knowing that there is not 1 person who I could call in an emergency to get my daughter if i am not able to, who is guaranteed to be available when I need them. 

 

What you should know about me is that I am NOT an Instagram mum. I do not post pictures of my daughter on social media and as much as I always self reflect and accept where I am at fault, I am also not shy about expressing when my daughter is being a pain in the a$$.

 

I have suffered with anxiety and also panic attacks. I have had depression and have felt suicidal in the past. I have had angry issues and control issues leading to various eating disorders in my late 20's. I have PTSD which stems from an abusive relationship which lasted around 7 years and 

 

I've always loved writing and kept a diary since I was about 13ish so I thought this would be a good way of creative expression for me to share and if anyone else out there can relate, just know you're NOT alone.

 

I'm also sailing down shit creek without a paddle (probably in a leaking boat too)! See you at the bottom of the waterfall!

 

I am not for everyone I understand that, but you can't please all of the people all of the time and I don't intend to try.