Obviously I can't legally use the word 'cure' here, I am NOT a Doctor, however I have found a way to pretty much eradicate all 3 and I want to share some snippets of how its been going.

 

 

I’ve already eaten enough over the last few days to sustain a small village for a week and I think with a mix of my already accumulated emotions, and the fullness of food I have wolfed down, I am about to EXPLODE!!!

 

 

 

After holding a lot of anger and frustration for months about situations and actions of others that I cannot change (sound familiar?), I decided it’s me that needs to find a way to accept things and make changes to myself and my way of coping.

 

 

 

I thought, why wait till ‘The New Year’ right? It’s like 4 days away. 

 

 

I NEED to start now! RIGHT NOW!

 

 

 

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling anxious, years of varying severity, dipping in and out of depression while also discovering that I have have quite severe PTSD.

 

 

 

The PTSD triggers are mostly my daughter through no fault of her own, stemming from a past relationship prior to me meeting my daughters dad. The relationship which was hugely toxic for both of us and more than 11 years on, I'm only just realising HOW much of an effect it has had on me. 

 

 

 

I am a solo mum; it is JUST me and my daughter. I don’t have the luxury of having family around me’ We don’t know any of her father’s family and we don’t see him either.

 

 

 

 

Before anyone feels the need to hate on him, I will say this; I have made it pretty much impossible for a relationship to happen because of my issues.

 

 

 

Anxiety all day long, sweating, stomach rolling, hands freezing cold, 1 finger on each hand colourless when I have high anxiety. Feeling faint, hardly drinking water, panic attacks leaving the house, having to disassociate just to leave the house, blanking out, brain freeze the list goes on. It's exhausting.

 

 

 

I’m sure many people reading this blog can relate to having MH problems and on top of it all, I get NO breaks from my daughter who is under 5 and she triggers me ALL day long! HELP!!

 

 

 

All of my friends have children and maybe a handful of times they’ve had my daughter for me for a few hours and on the odd occasion overnight. I don’t even want to ask anymore. 

 

 

 

I WAS STRUGGLING BADLY AND I NEEDED TO FIND A WAY TO ACCEPT MY LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS NOW.

 

 

 

I know social media makes me anxious, the constant scrolling shortening my attention span to less than that of a goldfish which is what happens when you constantly have dopamine released into your brain. I have been reading about Dopamine, so without getting all biologist on you (snore!) it is basically a ‘REWARD hormone’ and it’s released every time we get a ‘LIKE’ OR ‘COMMENT’ etc on social media when you wear that dopamine reaction out from overuse, without any ACTUAL rewards, the issues begin.

 

 

 

ANSWER THIS!

 

 

 

Do you find that nothing really seems WOW anymore? Everything is just kind of MEH… NEXT...? SAME

 

 

 

WE have dopamine resistance issues my friend!! 

 

 

 

 

I also find that I can’t cope with the crazy dreams I have! I didn’t use to have before I started over engaging in social media out of boredom.

 

 

 

So I decided to have a break from ‘personal’ social media for a month and create a new IG account and JUST follow health, motivational, and business accounts and only spend an hour a day MAX on them.

During the last few months, I have re-educated myself on the health, fitness, and habits of highly successful and highly functional people and have a plan! I feel extremely motivated now and I don’t want to lose that!! 

 

 

 

 

FYI,  I follow people like David Goggin's for fitness, Tony Robbins for lifestyle changes, and Grant Cardone for business and some other female entrepreneurs pages too!

 

 

 

I decided last night that

1. I was going to go to bed no later than 9pm and set my alarm for 6:30am ..7 DAYS A WEEK.
2. And EVERY day as soon as I get up at 6:30, I will do a mini workout consisting of squats, press ups abdominal exercises, and jump squats for a little cardio blast at the end, for no longer than 15 minutes.
3. Most importantly, I WILL NOT turn my phone on till 8am. (OMG How will I COPE!)

 

 

 

1 thing that has helped me A LOT is the alarm clock I bought, I came across an alarm clock that I leave on the stairs, it simulates the sunlight! OMG can we JUST take a second to appreciate whoever created this OUTSTANDING device!!!!!! 

 

 

 

 

Do you lay in bed when you’ve set an alarm and wait ALL night for it to go off out of FEAR of sleeping in and missing whatever it is that you set your alarm for? Me 3!!

 

 

 

I even have nightmares about missing my alarm all through the night when it’s set..

 

 

 

Give me a break PLEEEEASE!!!

 

 

 

BUT!!! This alarm clock! this amazing device has different light settings that start faint and build up and gradually changes tone till it’s a bright yellow light and then a lovely nature sounds plays (There are different tunes to choose from) Such a nicer way of waking up than hearing BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!

 

 

 

 

And because your skin has light sensors, it detects the light, sometimes even before the music starts! So fantastic!

 

 

 

 

If you have high anxiety and also cannot stand conventional alarm clocks! have a look at this little badboy! 

 

 

 

 

This might also be one of the BEST things that you EVER buy!

 

 

 

SUNRISE ALARM 

 

 

 

There are ones that are more and less expensive, but this is the one I got 

 

 

 

So as previously mentioned due to anxiety, I didn’t sleep (SURPRISE!) I actually felt drunk when I ‘woke up’ if you can call it that.

 

 

I came downstairs and I thought seriously what am I doing? This is NUTS! I feel like shit, I feel half-cut (AND I don’t even drink) I am exhausted and I want to die. LOL. Dramatic!

 

 

 

 

And then to my utter surprise, I rationalised with myself…and said to myself “it’s JUST 10 mins”

 

 

 

 

I almost started an argument! I was completely gobsmacked but quietly having a proud mother moment for myself at the same time.

 

 

 

 

So off to the bathroom I went and shocked my ENTIRE being by splashing freezing water on my face (slight temperature exaggeration but at the time it might as well have been a dunk in the Antarctic!) and got into the living room and started squatting.

 

 

 

I had a number in my head of how many I was going to do of each thing, and I am so proud to say did them ALL!!

 

 

 

The first step taken, I didn’t’ tell anyone close to me what I am doing because I felt like I would start feeling pressurised and didn’t want the “Oh how’s it going now, are you still keeping it up etc”.

 

 

 

Some journeys are just better started alone.

 

 

 

My dad always used to say, 

 

 

 

"Don't put off today, what you can put off tomorrow"

 

 

 

Lets GO!!

 

 

 

 

2nd January

 

 

 

 

To EVERYONE who ALSO decided to START something new already and has overcome the procrastination, fear of judgement from themselves AND fear of judgment from others!

 

 

 

CONGRATULATIONS!! WELL DONE!

 

 

YOU are AMAZING!! And I mean that will 100% sincerity, it's bloody difficult! especially with young kids, and a small collection of mental health issues!

 

 

 

 

Change is one of the most frightening things!

 

 

 

 

I have been getting up EVERY DAY at 6:30am since the 27th of December and doing my little workout.

 

 

 

My legs are tired from squatting, although I do build muscle quite quickly because of my muscle memory (seasoned squatter!) I started to get sciatic pain in my right bum cheek when I was out walking yesterday (ALWAYS helpful).

 

 

 

 

After today's workout, I spent around 20 minutes stretching my hips and lower back. Although I still have pain in my backside, it's not AS bad as it was.

 

 

 

At this point, I will say (I still HATE having to wake up at 6:30, the pain in my arse is definitely something that could put me off if I wasn't SO determined to carry on!) If you get sciatic pain, daily stretching REALLY helps!

 

 

 

 

I have to keep reminding myself that they're my rules and goals, so if I break them, It's me cheating myself, no one else. I can be extremely stubborn at times, so I feel that directing my stubbornness this way is definitely a good choice.

 

 

 

 

I can't do a press-up! Not a single 1, and I always wanted to be able to do at least 10 (slightly ambitious, I know!), But I was always more interested in learning other things to try, and let's face it, how long does it take to TRY something every day?
That's a slight lie, I can get into the starting position and lower myself down, but I cannot get back up (1/2 a press up!). I actually hold a strong, high plank.

 

 

 

 

My arms, shoulders, and back are strong, which baffles and frustrates me. I always attempt to do at least 1 push-up and then I lowered my knees for the rest of the set.

 

 

 

 

I'm sure the muscles used for push-ups will get stronger in time.

 

 

 

I feel absolutely wiped out by 3pm every day, and I want to be in bed by that time! I'm still not 'sleeping' as I don't recall any time during the night when I feel that my brain isn't active and thoughts aren't racing about. However, I have found that my dreams seem more productive and a lot less nightmarish since I decided to read a few pages of a book before bed instead of wasting my time social media scrolling, which I thought was relaxing until I realised it actually causes me severe anxiety.

 

 

 

I wrote a list of goals for this year, small ones to do daily to start getting into better practices. I soon realised having my daughter (And also my prior reluctance to have a routine) has caused me to feel like I don't really have a purpose other than to keep another human alive. As ungrateful as this may sound to some, that's not enough of a purpose for me to be happy and content with. I need more. I want more!

 

 

 

I know I am not alone here! Any mother after their children are a year or 2 OR even younger than that age must have experienced the same feeling of 'losing yourself?

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I think "Who am I anymore???" Am I still me? OR am I JUST mum.....
Where have I gone? This shake-up is my way of finding myself again!

 

 

 

 

Do you feel like that?

Have you felt like that?

I'm sure it can't just be me can it?

 

 

 

 

Before I had my daughter, I was always at the gym! Heavy weights, Yoga, I loved it ALL! I was training at the gym and I was still building muscle when I was 8.5 months pregnant.

 

 

 

 

I also moved house 2 weeks before my daughter arrived, carrying fridges, beds, and washing machines into and out of vans! However, surprisingly enough, a push-up was always something I could never manage, and I guess I didn't want to be able to do them enough to consistently try.

 

 

 

 

I'll tell you something; the sense of achievement and pride by just waking up at 6:30am every day and doing a workout first thing in the morning is massive for me! I'm finding even thought I feel tired, I still have energy!

 

 

 

 

Does that make sense? I generally am more uplifted by reflecting on the fact I am doing the last thing I would want to do, first thing in the day.

Like making your bed, that little sense of achievement and pride, but way BETTER!

 

 

 

 

I am so excited to be able to do a set of 10 real-life actual push-ups!. I think the level of CHUFT will be through the roof even when I can do a whole 1!! lol.

 

 

 

 

I do have lots of 'other' things on my goals list for this year, I intend to include ALL of them.

 

 

 

BUT!

 

 

 

I know that if I overwhelm myself with expectations, I will give up.

 

 

 

So I'll start with something that's enough of a kick up the arse to make some changes, then I'll add the other things on when I can get up without being bothered and when the waking up at 6:30 and the morning workout becomes a good and well formed habit.

 

 

 

 

Even if you have a small goal OR a small set of goals, not as extreme as mine feel, just wake up and decide one morning that THATS IT! and do it.

 

 

Don't tell anyone, and enjoy that little sense of secret smugness!

 

 

 

 

Because remember 'most' people are only happy for you as long as you're not doing better than them, and that's the truth!